Psychology | Rules | Lifestyle | Writing

Shoulds, Musts, Oughts

mostly do not work for me

image by PresenterMedia — used with permission

At one point in my life I realized that even in my childhood telling me to not do something just turned around in my brain to: OK that's the thing for me to do.

Yes — it is learning from negatives or whatever psychological concept one wants to use to label this — but I grew up in a family where I was not “supposed” to get educated past high school — so I did. In fact I was told not to take the academic track in high school — so I did. I was told I was not allowed to go horseback riding — so I did.

And typically as the way my brain works as I'm writing this and making the image about the signs — this song ran through my head — so here it is for your enjoyment.

I was expected to finish high school, get a job, get married, and have children. [I did have a child but it was well after I got my Ph.D.]

Today I am sort of still the same. If you tell me I am supposed to do something — chances are it may not happen — or it may — one…